Monday, January 14, 2008

Vegans, Guns and 40's

After my love affair with Sunflower on Friday, I was looking forward to the rest of the contest, knowing I did not have to rely on the same old plain and boring vegan meals I had eaten up until this point.

Unfortunately, that's easier said than done, because on Saturday my breakfast, lunch and dinner was nothing but peanut butter, jelly and Vegan Boca. Very plain. Very boring. And very blah.

However, that night, my fellow Vegan Quest adventurer came over to watch a movie and brought a stash of vegan beverages. Specifically, a backpack full of 40's, bottles of Rogue and cans of Coors Light.

Ah, sweet nector of the Vegans.

To top it off, the movie we watched, Shoot 'Em Up, was very vegan-friendly. Aside from a brief scene containing a man and a lactating hooker (is that vegan?), the hero of the film, a man named Smith, did nothing but eat carrots all movie long. (While also killing the occasional bad guy.)

We also tried some of the soy pepperonis I picked up at the grocery store that week.

Oh, the horror.

Words cannot describe the pure evil that formed when that pepperoni hit my tongue.

I have no idea why anyone would subject themselves to this abomination. Matt compared it to dog food. Yeah, maybe, if the dog was Cerberus, the Hell Hound of Hades.
But no warm-blooded, earth-walking dog would dare choose this over their Kibble. Not even Sam.

Well, after a night-filled with dreams running from giant circles of soy pepperoni, I woke up Sunday eager to cleanse my palate with some non-devil food. I was so spoiled by my Friday dinner than I had to have some more, so I called up Sunflower and ordered some takeout. Since my stomach has shrunk to the size of a golf ball, the food I picked up should last me a couple of more days. And then, I'm afraid, I might be back to Boca and PB&J.

Saturday:

1 Uncrustables 1 PB&J on Flax Waffles 1 Boca on Bagel with Hummus 1 slice of (gah) Smart Deli Soy Pepperoni (promptly spat into the garbage) Potato Chips 1 40 oz. of Schlitz Malt Liquor 1 Rogue Santa's Private Reserve 2 cans of Coors Light

Sunday:

1 Uncrustable
General Tso's Surprise from Sunflower
Vegetarian Low Mein from Sunflower
2 Spring Rolls from Sunflower

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